Today was one of those milestone moments. Two words kept coming to mind throughout the day: ‘passages’ and ‘seasons’. Different words but similar in that they both represent change.
I’m old enough now to be more aware of ‘being old’ and what that really means; not that I feel I’m old and creaky but I have friends who I met when they were around my age or older but now they are 70s and 80s; some are doing really well, but others are using walkers, canes, wheelchairs, sporting new knees, in assisted living, having memory issues, etc. I recently moved my own father into an assisted living facility. That whole process has struck a place in my heart that had been untouched until now. Having never married, no children, no nieces and nephews, I realized, in a stark reality kind of way, that my parents are my immediate ‘family’ and to see them move into the next stage of life, likely the final stage, is somewhat alarming and frankly a bit frightening. It has made me look at my own life in a different, more tangible, way I suppose. I remember when they were my age; and it wasn’t that long ago.
I looked out my window the other day and saw the tiny black kitten that has chosen my yard as a respite just sitting on the corner. I stood there watching it wondering what it would do. It did nothing. It sat there for the longest time. I understood. Sometimes, you just have to stop and in the middle of all the madness and wait until clarity comes… then move on and handle the situations.
I didn’t really have 55 candles; I need to conserve my breath😉. I have, however, been seriously thinking about how I want the next season of my life to play out if I have a choice.
At the end of last year, I thought I’d be deeply entrenched in working on a PhD in 2019. It didn’t work out like that, and I glad. This year has turned out to be very difficult; no way could I have been in an academic program, but I’ve been thinking about life, and the future a lot.
Sitting in front of a TV every evening after working all day is NOT on the agenda. Traveling the country, seeing new things, meeting new people, blogging, art, IS on the agenda. Planning for this new adventure, whether is happens or not, simply gives me something to look forward to. Pouring through endless YouTube videos has been like a RV-ing , road-tripping education. I’ve learned so much.
There are so many things I like about my life right now; I have a great job and one of the best boss’ ever, I have a great hobby as an artist, I have terrific friends, a wonderful church I attend. Life is good…and life is also very challenging at times. I have a lot of responsibilities, but I don’t mind it so much. I make the decisions I need to make, as I need to make them, and move on, through sleepless nights, laughter, tears and all. Thankfully, I’m good at decision making.
Not really much else to say here; just pondering on the gift of life, and how quickly it slowly rolls by, and how a lot of it is affected by the decisions we make and also how much of it happens in spite of us. We have to be ready for it all. That’s just life.
My prayer for this time and forward is that God helps me to age gracefully, not hating old age, not complaining about it, not wishing it was other than what is, just living each day as it shows itself; full of gray hair, groaning flesh, and hopefully with His unlimited grace.
Peace and love to you😘 … I’m headed off to find senior discounts. 😜
Blue Skies, Smiling at Me, Nothing But Blue Skies, Do I see. Well, not really. Do you know that song?
It’s been three months since my last post. That was unintentional. Back in April I was moving along with lots of goals, challenges, intentions, motives, duties, requirements, etc.. … then, BAM! I was suddenly overwhelmed. No one noticed. I didn’t even notice at first.
Life happens. Sometimes smoothly and uneventful, and sometimes like a boulder racing down a mountainside stopping only after it has run over you and slammed onto a street or some other obstacle below. I woke up one day feeling like a boulder had crushed my soul. I was doing too much. I am pretty good and managing multiple things; have always done it without much issue, either by choice or necessity. But suddenly, I was overwhelmed by my own life and circumstances.
The first thing to fall apart was my eating habits. After 2+ years of being healthy, I found food to be a visiting friend again. :(. Yep, gained some poundage. 😦 I woke up in the morning only looking forward to crawling back into bed that night. I did the things I had to do to with little excitement. Some disappointments rolled into my world. I thought I was getting depressed, but decided I was overloaded and tired; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
One of the biggest things I took away from this time is that ….. everyone else is overloaded and tired too. Everyone else is managing a boatload of issues as well. OK, not everyone, but I bet you needn’t look far to find someone in your world who is suffering from loss, death of a loved one, illness, children issues, aging parents, financial issues, relationship/friendship issues, etc. Lots going on in the world. Not to mention things that are happening politically, economically, and socially in the world.
I had to slow down for a few weeks. Be alone. I primarily got up in the morning, worked at my job, and slept. Thank God for friends… but there really is some truth to the saying, “Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone.”
Anyway, in the midst of those low slow days I would go outside at lunch time and sit on my back patio and just look at the blue sky, the beautiful trees, different kinds of birds, and jumbo bumblebees hanging around the Rose of Sharon. I notices that after lunch I must felt better. Being outside in the sunshine, thinking about nothing, just sitting and breathing refreshed my heart and soul.
….. I even got a chance to photograph visiting bunnies too.
During this time, I realized I needed to do something that was out of the ordinary for my world. Fortunately, I discovered a ‘thing’ that has brought a happy distraction to my life. As a younger woman, I used to wonder why some older women I knew spent so much time in their yards and gardens. Why???
I know now.
I discovered that digging in the dirt a bit each day and planting things was a ‘happy’ thing for me. So, I planted. I bought a manual tiller and started tilling areas of my lawn and planted Microclover in the lawn. I planted 2 Moon Flowers plants a friend gave me.
I planted a container flower arrangement for the first time in my life. I loved how it turned out. Pretty good for a newbie.
Right before this time, I planted 25 or so Japanese Maple tree seedlings that I pulled from my yard this Spring. Tending to these babies was, and is, a wonderful daily distraction for a few moments each day. Here is a picture of the babies. I’ll do another post on this later. (See April 7, 2019 post)
All that to say, I’m feeling much better and back on track, finally. I am eating healthily again (…going to do another post on this process later… doing some changes to better maintain hopefully). I’m sleeping more soundly, and I am dealing better with life issues overall.
I can’t believe it. I started growing a bunch of Japanese Maple seedlings that I pulled from my yard a few months ago. [See April 7, 2019 post]. I had high hopes for them but hadn’t a clue what I was doing.
Well, they started in 16-ounce cups, I lost about 3 of them but more than 25 survived to the next level, which was them being moved to 1-gallon nursery pots. There is now way I would have ever imagined loving this process so much. These little trees have become so much fun to take care of. Watching them grow and change daily is amazing. I cannot keep 25 trees so I plan to adopt them out when they are ready. If this is a success, who knows…. I might be in the Japanese Maple tree selling business. :).
There were some that I thought would surely die. They were soooo tiny. I placed them in groups of 3 within the 1-gallon pot. However, a couple weeks later, they were thriving and growing, so I moved them to their own pot. It’s amazing to me. I wouldn’t consider myself as having a ‘green thumb’. Matter of fact, I had a little talk with all the things growing in my yard when I moved into this house informing them that they will need to become as self-sufficient as possible because I could be of little help to them. They must have heard me because they are doing A-OK for the moment.
I have given these little trees a LOT of attention though, not that they needed it, but I was just interested and curious.
OK, don’t laugh but I decided to name them all so I could tell them apart. Seriously, they start to look alike after a while.. lol.
Don’t laugh but here ya go.
I named them!!!! lol.
I mostly gave them names that mean ‘strong, victorious, leader, shelter, glorious, beautiful, etc. They need to live up to their name. Some of the names were suggestions from friends…. Marla (lol), Ruby, Leif, Maple. 🙂
Aren’t they beautiful?? I think I’ll start an Instagram Page for them. I’ll let you know so you can follow their journey towards adoption.
I named this blog Vessels and Vittles because I originally planned to write about our ‘vessel’, a word used in the Bible meaning the container that carries the soul; the body, and ‘vittles’, an old slang word which is actually from the word ’victuals’,meaning supplies of food. I figured these two words together would encompass all things related to the human experience in some way… Bodies (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically ) and Food.
In the beginning, many of my posts were about food, dieting, healthy eating, etc. as I was in the midst of a major weight loss period.
Over time, I decided to write more about life experiences…. Because ‘life’ happens, hard times are just a part of life. Everyone seems to be going through hard times… personally, as a family, nation, and in the world.
I recently had an experience that seemed to sum up the troubles of life. I was sitting at my desk working and in the quiet of the morning I heard a sudden, loud, thump. So loud that I wasn’t sure which direction it came from. I got up, looked out the windows all around the house but didn’t see or hear anything else. I went back to working.
A few minutes later, I got a text from a neighbor. It said, “You may have a nasty surprise at your front door.” He went on to say while walking his dog he saw a bird fly full speed into my front door, which is a glass storm door. He said it was moving but it didn’t look good for the little creature.
I actually hesitated before getting up to open the door. Birds are not my favorite beast, though I do love watching them from afar. I eventually opened the door, slowly. And there on the ground sat this little feathered guy (or gal).
I was surprised to see it on its feet; it didn’t move at all, not even as I made a racket to see if it would fly away. I closed the door and went back to work, but not before jokingly texting my neighbor to see if he could send his dog, Quincy, to come get the bird when it finally keeled over. 😂. He texted back, “Sorry, Quincy’s fees are too high. No matter what you can afford, he charges more.” 😂😂
Anyway, an hour or so later, I decided to check out the birdie to see if it had croaked yet. To my surprise, all I saw was this….
I looked around wondering if it has crawled off behind the bushes or something… but no, it was gone!
I was talking to a friend about all of this and she said, “What a word picture. Do you feel like that with the abrupt shocks of life? But like you, that little guy will rest in the light and the love of the Creator [God] and be renewed, revitalized and move on…”
She was so correct!
I was thinking the same thing…. except in my mind, I heard it more like this…, “Sometimes life will kick the S#%@ [Stew] out of you…(I prefer STEW😉), …and you might have to ‘slow your roll’ for a minute and regroup, but you can’t wallow in the mess of life for long, get up, shake out your wings the best you can, and fly off to face the next challenge, because there will be one.
There is a Gospel song called, ‘His Eye Is On The Sparrow’, based on the parable of the Sparrows in the Holy Bible where Jesus says in summary that no sparrow can fall to the ground without our Father God in Heaven knowing it. We are created in his image. If he sees and knows of a wee sparrow, how much more are we to Him? Something to ponder, huh?
Life will slam you sometimes. I am in the midst of some challenging days right now but every morning, and throughout the day I try to remember that there is a God in Heaven to sees, knows, and hears all things concerning me….and concerning you too. He is there for me, having an answer before my problem ever comes to be. For that, I am eternally grateful. That is how I make it through this sometimes sad, painful, lonely, hard, but wonderful life. 🌺
Art is everything. What I mean is, some form of artistry exists in all things. Look around your world: houses, clothes, vehicles, appliances, tools, etc. … all involve creative skill in their creation. Our entire planet and universe is an artistic, mathematical creation as well. I believe God created us in his image therefore some form of creativity is inherently within us. History verifies this by the immense volumes of artistic expression blanketing our world.
I’ve always loved art, but didn’t discover my artistic ability until later in life. As a portrait artist, I love watching life come to a drawing or painting as I add or remove whatever medium I use; that just gets me right in my soul, which is probably why portraits are what I’m best at. My efforts at flowers, landscapes, etc., are poor to mediocre at best in my opinion.
It has been about 5 years since I’ve started drawing portraits professionally (See my artwork). I’ve been thinking about how I should use this God-given gift; I say this because I still can’t explain how I do what I do. I’ve been blessed with getting commissioned work early on and love seeing the reactions of people who see the finished product, but I started to feel I wanted my work to serve an additional, more directed purpose. What though?
Well, I think I found out.
Women cheering new abortion laws?? Huh? I didn’t physically see or hear this because I don’t have cable and might catch the news a couple of times per week when my antenna behaves, but I recently heard on the radio how women were cheering at the passing of a law in a State in our country allowing for babies to be aborted after the 24-week mark to protect the mother’s health or in cases where the fetus won’t survive. OK.😶😕.
My goal is not to be political here. However, when I heard this, I was a bit stunned because a light shone brighter on the devaluing of life; obviously the life of the child, but also the life and well-being of the mother who might suffer the emotional scars of seeing/experiencing the death of her very alive child if aborted near the due date. Death, murder, abortion of innocent life can’t possibly be as clean and simple as our laws want to make it appear.
I say all this as bystander of sorts, a guilty-feeling bystander, honestly.
What have I done about it? Not much. I’ve neither counseled a woman figuring out the next steps of an unexpected pregnancy, nor comforted a grieving woman who has walked out of a clinic without her baby. Matter of fact, I’ve never been pregnant, haven’t any nieces or nephews, and am rarely ever around children, so I often feel I don’t have the ‘street-cred’ to say or do much regarding this issue, really. Yes, I can pray for all the above, and I do, but I feel still helpless, and I hate that.
As all these things have been rambling about my head and heart in past weeks I’ve slowly had the evolution of how I can make an impact. It might seem small and insignificant to most but in doing so I hope to make a difference in the heavens at least, and in the hearts of all who see my work as a source of healing and hope.
What can I do? I can honor babies, and support their little lives. I’ve decided to focus my portrait work on “babies and children” for the next little while, in addition to other portraits. True, I’m not a mother but somehow these paintings feel like a representation of all the children I never had. In a world where children seem to be a target both ‘ in the womb’ AND ‘out of the womb’, I want to honor children through my portraiture work. I don’t know how this will evolve; as a matter of fact, children, especially babies are the most difficult to paint for me because although they have no/little hair, no teeth, and no wrinkles, the slightest wrong turn and I’m looking at E.T. on my canvas. 😕… trusting that the same God who has guided my art journey thus far will continue as I move forward with this purpose in mind.
So, in a nutshell, why did I paint these babies? Because I want to support and honor the life of these innocent ones. 👼🏻👼🏼👼🏼👼🏽👼🏾👼🏿 You know what, I can attempt that in my art. 💕
I call these two my “starter” babies. Although not the first babies I’ve drawn, they will always be remembered as my first attempts after this new purpose. The artistry might not be on point yet, but I fully expect to get better and better with each one….expressing all that is alive and well in the life of a baby from conception. So, off I go🙏🏼. Pencils and paints in hand, trying to make a difference in our world.
How are you making a difference? 😊
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16
When I started this blog, a couple of years ago, I primarily did so to share experiences during my personal journey to health and weight loss. It was mostly about food; what I ate, tips, struggles, etc. After a few months I started sharing other various life events. More recently I decided I wanted to, in addition, share more about the side of life that, in reality, is the most important; that on which all other parts depend.
It’s already mid-January 2019, and honestly, it has not been the blast off that I’d hoped it would be. I actually wish I could get a restart, a trial month, or a do-over. I’ve just been feeling a bit ‘slumpish’, kind of discouraged, sometimes sad, wondering if I was getting depressed.. who knows why? Just a series of little things pecking at my ‘stabilities’; you know relationship issues, life issues, day-to-day issues, just managing life. There is just so much going on with so many people every day it seems – bad health diagnoses, sickness, financial crises, deaths, national/government situations, it just becomes overload sometimes. However, the magnitude of what others are going through makes my little bouts of ‘blue days’ seem not worth mentioning to anyone, so I tend not to.
This is how I felt this Sunday morning. I’m gonna be real with you.
Getting up and going to church, literally less than a mile away, seemed it wasn’t going to happen. I stayed in bed longer than usual and just thought about life, people, house repairs needed, friends, … you know, ‘thangs’ that keep you up in the night and in bed in the morning; processing all the good, bad and ugly news I’d processed in past days. Somehow, I managed to find the wherewithal to get up and get rolling.
I’m a Christian from the get-go; was a pew-baby and still ‘churching’ now. I love Jesus, I love church, I love the body of Christ. No shame in it for me, so that had nothing to do with my not wanting to go.
Anyway, I get to my Connections class (a.k.a Sunday School for us oldies) as usual. It’s a class called the Encouragers, with about 25 or so regular attendees who are mostly a generation older than I am, which is fine because I like the wisdom of people older that I am; especially in the things of God. I have a buddy who sits near me each week now. His name is Solomon. Solomon is 89 years ‘young’. He has dropped all sorts of wisdom tidbits in my ear for the past couple years; from concoctions to knock out cold symptoms to handling life problems.
I don’t know what your religious beliefs are, or how you feel about such but when you meet someone like Solomon, who has walked with the Lord for nearly 90 years, there is much wisdom to be gleaned.
Today, Solomon taught our class from the Bible in Psalm 1. It’s a short chapter, but powerful, direct, simple to grasp but listening to Solomon speak in his Jamaican accent about the wonders of God’s Word in this chapter transported me out of the ‘ gloomy space’ in my head by the end of class.
I’m not planning to turn this blog into a straight up Bible study but I do plan to share how God’s Word is so relevant, timely and needed. Here is the New International Version of the chapter:
Psalm 1 (NIV)
1 Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,
2 but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.
4 Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.
5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.
Solomon started by reading the Psalm. Now, I have to stop and say, whenever Solomon prays aloud in class, his choice of words, and phrases, along with his accent, often makes me think to myself, “He prays in King James Version”. 😍 I sometimes wish I could record it.
Anyway, in a nutshell, we discussed each of the verses. Fascinating! In case you aren’t a Christian, or haven’t studied this before, here is my one-minute summary of what Solomon taught.
God blesses those believers who while being a light in a dark world do not make it a habit to intimately mingle with those whose heart is not towards living a Christian life; only because doing so will likely sway/seduce you away from the heart of God.
For those who are delighted to tuck God’s work in their heart, who long for God’s word and who think on the things of God day and night.; they will be like a tree that is deep-rooted, well nourished, and well watered by a river. They are full of sap and produce good fruit. I loved Solomon’s exposition on this part of the Psalm. He referenced it to Psalm 92:12 (The righteous man will flourish like the palm tree, He will grow like a cedar in Lebanon.) He then told of how there is a country (I don’t remember which one) where their entire economy is based on the Palm tree. All parts of the palm tree is used; the wood for homes, the leaves, for roofs, the seed for food, the oil for other things, etc. I’m a visual person so I could so easily picture this, and how God can use his righteous ones.
But, for those who choose to do otherwise (keyword: choose) they are blown away like chaff in the wind; not able/allowed to stand before the righteous Judge in the end. Solomon explained how chaff is the trash that is left over after the winnowing process.
One of the things that stood out the most was in his closing he mentioned that those who have made the decision to live for Christ have been ‘Registered in Heaven’.
Those simple words seemed to stick in all the cracks, crevices, holes, and dents in my spirit today. They made me happy inside. All those things that were weighing on me could not stand against the thought, the reassurance that I am Registered in Heaven. Needless to say, much of the ‘blue and bleakness’ was lifted as I drove home, and the words ‘Registered in Heaven’ have rang in my ears all day today. I love that I, as a human being, was given this choice to be, and instructions on how to be, Registered in Heaven. This wasn’t a matter of not knowing this passage, but of the healing effect like balm on a wound, of God’s living Word on a soul.
I write all this not to preach and/or proselytize but rather to encourage and to give hope in Jesus. Life is hard. You see and know that. Things are getting more and more difficult each day. I was with a friend the other day whose father-in-law is 96 years old. He was telling her how he’d gone out to buy a new tablecloth for his home; not only 1, but 3! He said he’d use one but maybe the others could be used later :)…. he’s 96 people! Later??? What is ‘later’ to a 96 year old??
That got me to thinking, you know what that is called… HOPE! Even at 96 years old, he had hope that he might still be able to use those tablecloths one day. That also got me to thinking about those who have no hope. Suicide is on the rise as we can see in our country; these are those who have lost all hope. Even in the deepest, darkest days of life, it is HOPE, that clears a way to see vision for the future.
I have decided to cling to HOPE for the my future; to my Hope in Jesus. I will pray that if you are reading this blog, and you do not have HOPE, that the Lord of heaven will show and send his HOPE your way. It is real, is it stable, it sure, it is free, it is everlasting.
May the peace of God reign in your hearts always! 😘
P.S. Let me know if you’d like to be Registered in Heaven. 🙏🏽
I think being in the kitchen is more like being in a science lab for me… just experimenting, most times I’m just looking for ways to make things more convenient.
So, my latest ‘experiment’ was with lemons. For years now, I have sipped warm lemon water in the morn, after my regular room temperature water. Sometimes I add a little honey, and other times I put all kinds of ‘elements’ in it…turmeric, cinnamon, ginger, pepper 😳…that’s what happens when you read too many health sites. 🤷🏽♀️ There are some real benefits to eating lemons but you have ro mind your teeth drom the acid.
Anyway, you know what? LEMONS are expensive, people. I can’t bring myself to pay 99 cents for one lemon. Nope, not gonna do it. So, I wait for the lemon sales; when I can get a whole bag for around $3.99. The only problem is I can’t eat them fast enough..they spoil.
I used to slice them all, put them on a plate to freeze, then pop them off the plate and put them in a zip bag. That works pretty good. It’s a challenge getting them off the plate though. Just grab a frozen slice, drop into my hot water, and BAM! No fuss.
Well the other day, After buying another bag of lemons I decided to try something a little different. Why? No real reason. 😊
Instead of slicing them all, I juiced them all. I ended up with about a cup of fresh squeezed lemon juice. Next, I poured it into a silicon small-cube tray, and froze.
When frozen, I popped them in a zip bag. Now, in the morning, I put a lemon cube or two, add my other ingredients and sippy-sip. Lots of cubes that lasts for days.
Frozen lemon cubes
Frozen Lemon cubes
I’m sure most folks wouldn’t waste time doing this..ha!… I’m not even sure it saves me any time in the morning…but thought I’d share anyway. 😎✌🏽🍋